When two people join in intimate relationship sexuality, personal confidence, sex drive and life's anxieties come together in a mix that can easily go wrong. A small incompatibility in one area can have huge implications if it stops the physical or emotional processes of love going smoothly. Because of the taboos around sex, where even the two people in a relationship cannot talk openly to each other, such problems escalate. Stand-offs develop with partners deeply in denial much of the time, not even realizing that real life, real living, is passing them by. It's easy to avoid sorting it out, but at huge cost in terms of happiness.

Not being able to start relationships: too shy to start dating, not finding the right person, stuck the essential ‘key points’, problems dating with a new found sexuality or gender. Fear of the opposite gender, anguish after failed attempts or failed relationships. Trauma from the past, ghosts not yet laid. Fear of sex, too, it can be as simple and basic as that. And of course, the issues of lack of fidelity: you or your partners’. The lack of trust, the uncertainty of which way to go, the fear of opening up the issue. Overcoming abuse, yours or your partner's: the final insult of many rapes is the husband's subsequent rejection of his abused partner.

The rocky way back, or the uncomfortable lonely road ahead. Relationships are responsive to a fresh approach, to coach through the stagnation or the fear, to see things in a new light. Or just to use the support as you broach the issue. I can help to end relationships constructively, not my favorite work, but it can save some wreckage: let both partners move on faster, happier than they otherwise would.